Character Manual for Hellsing characters
by Simpsonspuppy
Summary: This is how to take care of your HS character! I don't own Hellsing!
1. Alucard

**Care and Keeping of…Alucard**

**Congratulations! **

You are now the proud owner of your own Alucard! Be sure to read this manual thoroughly to insure you won't get eaten by Alucard!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have purchased a Alucard. He is loyal, polite and a vampire!

Your Alucard comes with the following:

One red hat

One red coat

Sunglasses

One white shirt

One black pants

One Jekyll

One Hyde

One Alucard

**Assembly Instructions**

Let Alucard go out from the crate cause he can walk through walls and if he can't then send him back cause he's a defect.

Tell him to go on a mission.

**Feeding Intructions**

Give Alucard a pack of medical blood or he will be chasing you around the house trying to drink yours.

**Sleeping Habits**

Let him choose a room. It's best not to mess with him if he picks your room. Alucard only sleeps in the morning cause he's a vampire. He's awake at night, so get ready for some wake up calls from him.

**Warning**

**DO NOT **mention the following:

Schrodinger

Millennium

Major

Tubalcain Alhambra

Iscariot

Alexander Anderson

Enrico Maxwell

Do not say Anderson is better than him. He will eat you.

Never take his hat. He WILL eat you.

Never say vampires are stupid, and he will just kick your ass.

**FAQ's **

**Q.** I can't find Alucard in the night! Where did he go?

**A. **He's gone to Integra for his mission so he can't die cause he's the main character.

**Q.** I accidently mentioned Schrodinger,etc. Now he's giving me a death stare. What should I do?

**A. **You should NEVER talk about those things, now he's going to kill you. I suggest getting Seras instead.

**Q. **My friend brought his Anderson over and now they are fighting all the time, why is that?

**A. **They are enemies. I suggest your friend to keep his Anderson away from your Alucard.

**If you enjoy Alucard, you may enjoy:**

Seras

Integra

Pip

Walter

Anderson

Schrodinger

**Alucard is NOT compatible with:**

Anderson

Major

Schrodinger

Maxwell

Alhambra

Rip Van Winkle

**Warranty **

We will give you a 1-year warranty if he has any of these defects:

Alucard cannot walk through walls.

If he flirts with Rip Van Winkle.

If he starts acting like Schrodinger for some strange reason.

If he acts so damn annoying and narcissistic, it's not our fault at Anime R US if he kicks your ass.


	2. Integra

**The care and keeping of….. Integra Hellsing**

**Congratulations! **

You now are a very proud owner of Integra Hellsing!

**What have I purchased?**

You have purchased an Integra. She is polite, loves tea, and is a great companion.

Your Integra comes with the following:

One Integra

One suit

Glasses

One necklace

Gloves

**Assembly Instructions**

Open the crate.

Let Integra come out and yell at you for putting her in a crate.

If she doesn't yell, bitch, or scream at you, she's a defect so send her back.

**Feeding Instructions**

Integra can pretty much eat anything you cook for her, just don't take her food while she's eating or she will call Alucard to protect her food.

**Sleeping Habits**

Let her choose a room. She really won't mind if she has to sleep in a guest room.

**Warning**

**DO NOT**** mention the following:**

Maxwell

Major

Millennium

Iscariot

Anderson

Jan Valentine

Never say Maxwell and/or Major are better than her, she can fight you pretty good.

NEVER ask her about her job, she would just give you a really, really long story about how she became a leader.

NEVER make her angrier if she is already aggravated.

**FAQ's**

**Q.** My friends brought their Major and Maxwell over and they are arguing and having a fit, why is that?

**A.** They are enemies, so they constantly fight a lot; I suggest they keep their Maxwell and Major away from your Integra.

**Q. **I accidently mentioned Major, etc. Now she's mad at me and ignoring me, what should I do?

**A. **Say sorry, give her a cup of tea, and talk about each other's interests.

**Q. **Oh no! My friend's Major is flirting with my Integra, and now he's following her around, what should I do?

**A**. It's really not normal but it's not a defect, Major acts that way because he's a pervert. I suggest you split them up, before anything gets broken or the fight gets brutal.

**If you enjoy Integra, you may enjoy:**

Seras

Pip

Walter

Alucard

Major

**Integra is not compatible with:**

Major

Maxwell

Anderson

Jan Valentine

Rejuvenated Walter

**Warranty:**

We will give you 1-year warranty if any of these defects happen:

If Integra never yells after you open the crate.

If she agrees to go on a date with Major or Maxwell.

If she tends to throw hissy fits a lot.

If she starts drinking blood, that is not Integra but could be an Alucard.

**Thanks for reading my manual! Next is Seras.**


End file.
